Is Giant Produce Unnatural?

Is it wrong for me to suddenly want to grow a giant pumpkin now that we're homeowners?

I should say that it runs in my family. My paternal grandfather once grew a squash so big he got to be pictured next to it in the newspaper. It was almost immediately stolen. But, there's a happy ending--he put a chastising ad in the classifieds about how much work the thing had taken to cultivate and how only an extremely low form of life would steal it and the squash reappeared on the back porch.

Comments

[JeremyT]

Wrong?

I would say there's nothing more American than growing enormous produce.

Not even apple pie.

Well, unless it's a really huge apple pie made with apples the size of pumpkins.

[Meeks]

What I really want is one of those square watermelons they are growing in Japan.

[Jackie M.]

If you were true Americans, you would not only grow giant pumpkins, but also build an appropriately-scaled punkin chucker in your newly-acquired garage.

Then sell the patent rights to the US military.

[David Moles]

I think you should go for something more challenging. Like growing a giant tasty pumpkin.

[Matt Ruff]

What about giant corn? Do they make giant corn?

[Christopher]

Of course they make giant corn. Don't you people watch Gilligan's Island?